Hug Your Kids and tell them you love them

[monsstr]

Good evening, I was just outside staring at the sky thinking of my son. My dad was never an emotional guy so hearing him say I love you was a rare occurrence. I swore that when my child came along that I would always say it to him. My son is 19 and I still say I love you when he leaves and even on the phone and I still give him hugs. Over the top...maybe...but he is my pride and joy. Now I am thinking maybe I should have said it more to him...

My son tried to take his own life Saturday. 911 was called and they were able to get him to the hospital and get the drugs out of his system. I had him committed because he threatened to do it again when he got out of the hospital and I wanted him to get the help he needed to believe that life is worth living. I cry everyday at the image of my son laying there in his bed where I found him, and it is an image that will forever haunt me. I don't wish that on anyone.

As I sit here waiting for him to return to me I think of what could have been and what has been. So I am asking everyone take a moment, and just give your daughter or son a hug no matter how old they are. If they are a distance away, give them a call and just tell them...a few words can do amazing things.

Thank you

Rick

[Vprbite]

I can only imagine how difficult that must be.

I firmly, firmly believe that people can heal. Especially with support from family. So hang in there and try and know how much your support is helping, even if it doesn't seem like it

[LuvSpeed]

So sorry to hear your story. I have empathy for you. I believe love can heal. I hope that your son gets the help that he needs, and your family learns how to best support him.

[HISSSN1]

Love and support is what you need to continue to give. You, your son and family are in my prayers. I wish you all wellness. If anything I can do please let me know.

[Fatboy 18]

Sorry to hear of your news, my Son is now 21.

What brought this on? Social media, the people he hangs around with? Drugs? I hope you can find the route cause. A change of environment would be my first move.

Best wishes for you and your Son going forward.

[outnumbered]

My heart sank reading this, as I reflect on my 20 year old daughter. God be with you and your son.

[City]

My heart sank reading this, as I reflect on my 20 year old daughter.

Mine too as with my 17 year old daughter. There's SO many things that can be part of the cause here. I note that you've asked for professional help. That's something that some parents don't recognize as a necessary part of the "curing" process. Also good that you reached out here to help ease your unimaginable pain. I'd strongly suggest that your entire family also seek professional help to assist with how you all interact with your son and to help you best process the situation.

My thoughts are with you and your boy!

[13COBRA]

Praying for you and your family.

[Bill Pemberton]

I hug my son whenever I see him, and I always tell him I love him, and I know you will continue to do that with your son. He will need that love and support more now than ever and your unconditional care and concern will be the biggest strength he needs to build and restore his life. You being there is the foundation he needs to begin to heal, and though he may not recognize that now , it will be the bedrock for him to examine himself -- knowing your love has not wavered.

Bless you , your family and your son.

[SmoknTires]

My heart goes out to you guys. I have a friend in a similar situation. It effects the whole family and it's certainly something that can plague your mind as it grapples with that memory - as well as all the "what if's" and guilt that may sometimes go along with difficult things such as this. Good luck you guys, whether it's chemical or mental reasons that are effecting him, help is the most important things to seek. I hope he recovers ok and you get to the cause. Such a serious thing to have to deal with.

I do also believe it's so much tougher to be a parent today. So much more complex, moves so much faster, so many more influences, and so much harder to monitor. And with social media dominating so much of kids lives, the pressures on them are increased as they can never really disconnect and are forced to play the constant game of social acceptance. Parents AND kids definitely have their hands full these days.

And where (attempted) suicide is involved, getting to the underlying causes is of the utmost importance. I haven't said this to many, but my father took his own life when I was 16. The guilt, sadness, anger, etc... that families have to endure is inexplicable. It changes the course of your life. I truly hope that this experience will at least light the path toward the root cause so he can find peace with whatever would push him to feel life isn't worth living. You have another chance to address it before it's too late, that's a blessing in disguise. Thank God that you were there...

[Fatboy 18]

Jesus, Alex, I just don't know how the hell one deals with that! Ive been lucky in life with a great mum and dad although Dad passed away with "the Big C" about 3yrs ago.

I was trying to be pragmatic with my earlier post. I do not Know Rick or his family but Rick's post did touch a nerve when I see all the social media crap my son deals with.
I think things were easier when I was growing up, but saying that my school life was total Hell. Most people over here say school days were the best days of their life! I could not disagree more!

But to Rick, stay strong mate.

[Purple Haze]

The best to your son and you. I hope he heals mentally and physically. Take care...

[BrianACR]

Wow that is a sad story. Thank you for sharing that with us here. It takes guts to be able to share a story like that with a bunch of complete strangers. I tell my kids I love them and give them hugs all the time.
My kids are only 9 and 7 right now but there is so much garbage that they deal with already.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

[monsstr]

I would like to thank everyone sincerely for your support and kind words. I have been lost mentally for a few days but still focusing on my son and his well being. He is expected to be released this Wed from the hospital with what I hope will be a happier outlook on life. It was quite a conglomeration of things that brought my son to this point in his life....drugs, smoking, drinking, stealing, taking no responsibility for his life no matter who much I tried to him. Eventually the catalyst for last Sat was a woman. At 19 they think the world is going to end and he felt he couldn't go on. I am trying to give him a clean slate for when he gets out and comes home but my fear is he will go back to the same people and life style. He has already told me that I don't have to pick him up Wed that he is going off with a friend. As I always tell him...I will always be here for him no matter what, so I am trying to be the best dad I can be but unfortunately he doesn't want to hear my advice because I don't know anything. I can only pray that he makes wise young adult decisions.

Alex...I cant even imagine what you must have gone through at such a young age. My heart still hurts badly from my son just doing what he did. Thank you for sharing and you have my utmost respect.

Again, thank you so much for all of the support on the forum. I wish I could meet all of you in person and just shake your hand. When most of my friends didn't even bother to check in on my son or myself, all of you took the time to wish my son well and gave words of encouragement that kept me going.

Rick

[Vprbite]

I do not have children, but when I was in my wreck a few years back I saw the look on my parents' face and it was clear that the worst feeling for a parent was being unable to help your child even though you would be willing to do anything. Though the circumstances were different, I will say it was helpful just seeing the effort from my family. Seeing that they wanted to help me in any way possible made me feel like I was not going through it alone. So I'm sure your love and care for your son comes through to him and I'm sure it is helping.

Obviously, suicidal attempts and idealation come with their own unique challenges different to what I was dealing with but I can tell you really want the best for your son no matter the effort it takes and I hope he picks up on that. I feel he will. My mother is a counselor who usually works with children who are trauma survivors or children whose parents have cancer but she operates from a belief that no one is ever beyond healing and that all people can not just survive but thrive.

My heart is with you during this difficult time. We all struggle with things from time to time, especially at the age your son is at. It is my hope upon hope that he embraces the support that you are offering. God bless.

Let me know if I can be of help in any way.

[poptarts]

sorry to read this. i know this is a couple weeks old and the sleepless nights have probably gone. coming from someone who has tried to kill myself on stupid drunken night i ended up with 46 stitches on my right arm and 10 in my left. i hope it was just a dumb drunken decision he made. when i did my "outburst". i didn't call anyone to get me at the hospital after my friends called 911. someone did call my dad and he was the one who showed up at the hospital when i was getting stitched up. i could tell it hurt him deeply. now in tx they have to admit you into a psycward for 72 hours to make sure you are mentally capable to go home. it sucked....


now 8 years later and 2 kids later. would i try and kill myself again? no. do i do the stupid stuff i did when i was 21. no.

all i am rambling about is. there is 2 sides to a story. your son has his reasons for doing what he did. when he reflects on this years down the road it will make him realize like it has with me.

young. dumb. decisions.

i would give my nuts for my kids and family. i would never want to see my family deal with a lose. no parent should ever bury their kid. i prey for your son and hope god is in his life. i hope he does see the light at the end of the tunnel. there is always the dark before the light.

if your son ever wants to talk to someone or you need some instite from an ex dumb ass college kid. i will always help as well in any way i can.